It’s 2:34am and I’m wide awake. I thought this would stop after a few weeks. I remember when I thought lying awake till 12…and then 1…was bad.
The inevitable keeps me awake. Life is a bright window that slides farther and father away. As the distance grows, the colors fade, the feelings dim.
I have too many memories around where I grew up. I need a new canvas.
I feel old and steadily less cool; older than I should feel at 29. Or at least, that’s what I think I should feel. In some ways I don’t feel much different…
Probably Breathing Freer While Loving Ourselves and Others More
At this point, I engage with people online (not to win anyone over, that’s kind of impossible in 2020), but to give my perspective a test run: To put my beliefs out there and just see what comes back, see if I hear a new angle entirely. Instead, I’m trying to see if anyone can win my mind over with a new rebuttle. Self-refinement.
I have a real problem with religious folk only praising God for all the good he does. Being sovereign over all doesn’t mean only over the good…
Today is a day where nothing gets done;
You’re sure you woke up, but don’t see the sun
Already lost and you’ve not left your bed;
Water fills your lungs while nothing fills your head
You sit and you think, you think and you sit;
You ponder your life and the meaning of it
Elusive and vague, a fish in a bay;
Words swim in your mouth with nothing to say
Nothing is new, nothing is old;
Nothing is everything, if you might be so bold
You know it’s not healthy to stare at the ceiling;
But you’re hoping the…
The Bible Said…
I think we’re a lot more powerful than we give ourselves credit for. I think we train our brains to trick ourselves into not trusting ourselves, when they were reliable in the first place. Or at least the cult I came from, and many like it, do. Being out of the thicket that is the church bubble for as long as I have been now, I’ve made it to a clearing where I can smell the dogma coming from a mile away. …
Can you remember the feeling? Can you remember the freedom?
I still think it holds true that who you are when you close all your apps is who you are. That moment of silence, where you cut off the chains you bind yourself with to social media, and it’s just you sitting there waking up from a scrolling slumber. How many friends you engage with outside of social media are the real friends you have. That’s how big the actual circle is.
See a difference in the numbers?
I think this instant communication has made people into bad…
The following was published August 10th, 2018 to my old Wordpress, but a year has passed since the story’s events took place and I’ve been thinking about it often. So many amazing things have happened in my life since then and I plan to write a recap of the year. The point of this repost is to move this entry to this blog and set the context for future posts. Enjoy :)
It’s May 27th — Sky is gloomy and I’m with my family and friends at the marina. A few of us head out on another fishing trip just…
Just a Few Things I’ve Never Heard an Elderly Person Say:
I wish I spent less time outside.
I wish I saw less sunsets or sunrises.
I wish I didn’t go to so many concerts.
I wish I spread less positivity.
I wish I took less chances.
I wish I quit learning new things.
I wish I held more grudges.
I wish I was on my phone more.
I wish I had less sex.
I wish I cared more what other people thought of me.
I wish I hugged my parents less.
I wish I worried more.
I wish I…
Ones and Zeros - Here and Gone
I write because in some universe I’m doing it for an income and I’m incrementally happier. I write because I feel like my thoughts can exist on this plane, somehow better or more appreciated than just in my head. I can see them — Interrogate them. I write because I’m lonely.
I often don’t know where to begin. I often wonder how it’s all gonna end. Is there happiness there? Will it feel complete? Will I miss the early days, just like I do now.
God…I’m only 28.
Satisfaction. What’s that? I’m always…
Lazy Summer Jam Sessions
Here’s to those days growing up as a youth — window open, lying in your bed staring at the ceiling fan, listening to music. Letting it move you.
The world didn’t matter. You were, for the first time, hearing things you’d only felt inside bounce off the walls. Like a drug. Like magic.
It made sense to you. You connected with something in the universe and it became yours. You didn’t need anyone or anything else.
You were content with you and felt presently alive. Perhaps you even had your best friend over, and you burned through an album together.
Here’s to those days.
Yesterday, Jonny “Young Gunz” Miller made his debut in the arm wrestling arena with his first legit competition ever. The nickname was given to me by a flattering spectator (you know who you are) and I’m running with it haha.
This was truly a fun and great experience. I had no idea what to expect and it was a bit of an experiment. I’ve been rock climbing (indoor) for a year and a half and wanted to see how well I would do with only those credentials. In preparation, I’ve been studying videos from the greatest in the sport and…
Musician / Rock Climber / Nerd